Redefining Educational Terms

Dr. Ralph Kerr, President of the Teaching and Learning Institute
Dr. Ralph Kerr, President of the Teaching and Learning Institute

By Ralph Kerr

One summer as part of my reading for relaxation I came across a list of medical terms that have been redefined to prevent a very different point of view. Some unknown author, but obviously one with a good sense of humor prepared these. Here are some samples. “Dilate to live longer, G.I. series, baseball games between soldiers, organic, a church musician outpatient, a person who has fainted, barium, what you do when CPR fails, benign, what you be after UB eight, protein, in favor of young people.” I enjoyed these definitions so much I began thinking that maybe some educational terms could also be redefined for fun. Some family members and friends, mostly educators helped develop the following list.

Below are redefined educational terms with a different point of view:

Guidance office, a room where boys learn to dance.

Detention, lack of stress.

Science, when it is very quiet.

Teacher, what parents do when their daughter misbehaves.

Principal, a friend of the King’s son.

Shower stall, a delayed rainstorm.

Baseball, male with a deep voice crying.

Grammar, your parents mother.

Board of Education, tired of learning.

Gymnasiums, Mary Nasiums husband.

Teachers union, a wedding.

Special Ed, a talking horse (you have to be a certain age to get this one).

Courses, breakfast lunch and dinner.

Distance learning, far out minds.

Desk, before sunset.

Pupil services, an eye doctor.

Freshman, what parents fear about their daughters date.

Locker room, what a girl does when she leaves home.

Auditorium, an uneven room.

Portfolio, latest stop on an Italian cruise.

Internet, what hangs inside a basketball hoop.

Pencil, a jails window ledge.

Enough already! I hope you had as much fun reading these as we did preparing them. Enjoy your summer!

Dr. Ralph Kerr is the President of Teaching and Learning Institute. If you would like more information about the Teaching and Learning Institute please contact us at or call us at 585-567-2080.